fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
