Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
