how do flat chested girls get laid?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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