I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
