No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize