Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
