So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
