Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
