I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
