i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
