Plan B is the new Plan A
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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