do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
