If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Text me some of your sweat
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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