One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
