Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
