His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she peed on how many people?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
