just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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