Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
