I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
