i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
