Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
