How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
