I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
