So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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