Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
