I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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