I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
