I wish I could punch you in the face.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
