In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
