Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
