Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize