is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize