So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
