Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
