i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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