My first STD was from a foam party
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
