Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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