Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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