Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
