I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
