I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
