In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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