Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
