Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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