already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
