i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
