we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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