You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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