Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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