There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
babies were throwing up all over the place
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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