Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Mom said you looked used
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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