Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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