And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
