a queef is a wish your heart makes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
