but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
