Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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