I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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