I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
