Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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