I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
