get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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