He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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